I'm a firm believer that when you believe life has stabbed you in the back, it can be a blessing in disguise. Yes I'm talking about getting dumped, fired, an embarrassing loss in competition, or even some death's and diseases. These burning moments are inevitable in life, so how can we make them benefit us?
OK, a fucked up thing happened, now what? You can cry about it. Which is therapeutic and good for quick stress relief. But as toddlers quickly realize, if there is no over attentive mom around, then it is a waste of energy. Getting intoxicated or going into party mode is an effective short distraction but often leads to more problems. And yes, like most people do, you can try to forget and bury the moment. But in my humble opinion, this is a huge wasted opportunity.
The best option, is to USE that emotional firepower for a cause. A positive worthy cause or goal that directly improves your life. Something that never would have happened on its own. The thing that needed a special circumstance to manifest. By redirecting your attention and full effort to accomplishing something special, something good or greater will eventually come of it. Examples:
DUMPED: Use that heartache for a fitness makeover and relentless effort to find that upgraded partner.
FIRED: Use that sting to improve your skills, go back to school, start your own business.
LOSS in COMPETITION: Use the anguish to get out of your comfort zones, add skills, train harder/smarter.
DISEASE: Use the motivation to fix and heal any controllable factors. Focus on health/fitness, medical education.
DEATH: Use that ultimate sorrow to honor the surviving loved ones. Do something ultra-special; book, service, project.
Try to remember the next time something unfortunate happens to you, life has given you a powerful seed. Don't waste it. Instead, recycle your pain. Use it for emotional firepower to do the extraordinary.